"If You're From New Jersey You're Probably Going to Hell" - New Statement by Pope Francis formerly Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, 265th Successor to St. Peter.

NEW JERSEY, UNITED STATES - After his monumental and historic visit to the state of New Jersey Pope Francis -265th Successor to St. Peter - finally confirms what the American people have always hoped to be true. If you are from the the state of New Jersey you are in-fact being sent to Hell when you die. This shocking revelation came from the Pope after answering the question of 8 year old and local Jersey resident Olivia Stewart. Inquiring as to whether or not the young Jerseyan would be reunited with her beloved pet rabbit Dribbles after recently having passed from Crohn's disease - the Pope had this to say. "It is simply not the will of the Heavenly Father to allow any man, woman, or child from the state of New Jersey to pass through the Pearly Gates. While God does of course recognize you all as his children it would be cruelty beyond measure to allow you to be where people are." The Bud is still awaiting an official statement from the Vatican on the status of Rabbits.

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